You know how it is, when someone or something, brings back a time in your life,
That was either good or bad?
This has me shaking.
I liked where we lived, in the early seventies.
My dad, my sister and I.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but most of our neighbors were single fathers, like my dad.
But this family (that I also must speak about) had a mother, father, a boy and girl.
Who were a couple/few years older than, my sister and I.
Although I don’t remember details (there was touching) I do have the memories, of how it made me feel.
[Our parents drank. And they would drink at each others place. Leaving us alone, playing, at each others place]
When our building had to be renovated, we had to move.
This new neighborhood had a family, that had both parents, many children (older than us) and no discipline.
Long story short. And why I must speak.
I was eleven years old. We started hanging with this family, who’s parents allowed, sex, drugs (sold marijuana and where I smoked my first joint) and alcohol.
[My dad tried deperately, to stop us]
There were no limits.
Although I was doing any and everything I wanted to do (sex, weed and alcohol)
There was one time I was asleep.
And woke up to one of those older boys, trying to violate me.
It didn’t take me long (just a few months) to realize, all this freedom was the worst thing that could have happened to us.
So I left. My sister stayed.
[early pregnacies, would be a reaccurence, in our family]
A few days ago, I received a friend request.
I thought from, this, that tried to violate me while I was sleep.
[as I said, my sister stayed. And is connected, by a click. Why I got the request]
I immediately got nervous, started shaking and prepared myself to tell him, why I wouldn’t have accepted his friend request.
But it was his brother.
I just declined, the friend request.
Then my sister (who rarely calls) tries to call me.
to tell me, that this person is trying to contact me.
[This person, who’s a part of the family I purposely omitted from my life]
My sister then texts me, that this person is trying to contact me.
And then, tells someone else, to tell me, this person, is trying to contact me.
I then have to tell her, I know. That I’m not interested.
Click, bye, bye, delete.
Whatever it takes for me to be healthy.
I speak, because I want people to know the things that happened to me and how they affect me, even now.
Forty five years later.
I pray to God, we prevent someone from going through the painful issues associated with sexual abuse.