Fall easy, hard and long

falling in and out of love

I remember my very first crush. It was my third grade teacher.

Who looked like, Vanessa Williams!

My second crush, involved two.

Saretta. We lived on the same block and went to the same elementary school.

And Miss Brown, who lived around the corner and taught me how to Crochet and Knit.

My last crush, became my mate, for fifteen years.

Reoccurring dreams, Seasons and dates, make it difficult to forget her and to move on.

I know, I will love her forever.

I just want to stop mourning the lost.

I thank my Pastor and Friend, Rev Shorb-Sterling. Who’s retiring soon.

Besides my dad, She was the only person that empathized with my many challenges.

So much so, she supplied the words for me, when I was unable to express how I felt.

Something I lacked from family and friends of more than thirty years.

I will miss her tremendously.

I love you Rev Sue!

I pray we all have the Peace this World needs to heal.

God Bless!

Yvette

Is it me, Or am I expecting too much?

Why can’t people be honest?

I want to first say, I recognize it could be me.

[Over sensitive, expectations, etc]

But, Is it really unrealistic, to expect people to be honest?

For many reasons, I had cause to be untrusting.

In spite of this, I am honest and open.

And I expect, the same.

Why can’t people be, as honest as they pretend to be?

It (lying) seems so unnecessary.

Signed, Seeker of true friendship.

Yvette

PS For this and other reasons, I wish I were, Elsie Eiler!

The Lonely Lesbie

I hoped I would miss you, less and less over time.

It’s been two years.

Two years since I’ve seen you or heard your voice.

I did all I could, to get you out of my system.

It worked, for a bit.

But then, I had a moment.

And I text you.

Desperate, for even one of your, one worded responses.

I think of the good.

The weekend get aways to “The Room”

The road trips.

To Virginia, Pennsylvania. Martha’s Vineyard.

And the, not so good.

Him. Us and him again.

Still, I love you, as much as I did, the first time I met you.

Because, Whatever we were,

You were always, straight with me.

I miss you, immensely.

Yvette

Chain of Events

Yesterday, Having spent, most of the day with her. I tell Rev, I’d see her, for sure, Sunday.

She had picked me up and had driven, through three or four counties. But she asks me, if I was up to visiting, our friend in Mt. Airy.  Another, in the hospital.

[Ever mindful of my issues, with fatigue. She was the one, to put into words, procisely how I felt]

Today, Saturday. I got up late (for me) around eight a.m.

I was anticipating a friend’s arrival. One who was kind enough to bring me items, I had stored at theirs.

For years!

[How blessed am I, to have people like this, in my life]

One thing, leads to another.

I start to clear space for the things that she’s bringing.

And cleaning up and doing laundry.

I’m exhausted and my back hurts.

[Bipolar, Mania forces me to work, to exhaustion. Or until my back gives out. But, what do you do with the brain? It won’t stop thinking, won’t rest?]

I have my last load in the dryer.

I think of my dad, As I make my bed.

As I fold, Two extra blankets.

I smile. Because my dad, is a bed hog!

I think about some of the things we laughed about, the last time he was here.

I told him, he had eaten all his candy.

He says “I don’t remember eating it”

I then say “Because you don’t remember, doesn’t mean, you didn’t eat it”

And we laughed.

[I no longer worry, that he forgets…that he may forget me]

He said another time “I don’t remember”

I said ” And that’s alright, Right Daddy?

He said “That’s right baby”

Blessings!

Yvette