Fall easy, hard and long

falling in and out of love

I remember my very first crush. It was my third grade teacher.

Who looked like, Vanessa Williams!

My second crush, involved two.

Saretta. We lived on the same block and went to the same elementary school.

And Miss Brown, who lived around the corner and taught me how to Crochet and Knit.

My last crush, became my mate, for fifteen years.

Reoccurring dreams, Seasons and dates, make it difficult to forget her and to move on.

I know, I will love her forever.

I just want to stop mourning the lost.

I thank my Pastor and Friend, Rev Shorb-Sterling. Who’s retiring soon.

Besides my dad, She was the only person that empathized with my many challenges.

So much so, she supplied the words for me, when I was unable to express how I felt.

Something I lacked from family and friends of more than thirty years.

I will miss her tremendously.

I love you Rev Sue!

I pray we all have the Peace this World needs to heal.

God Bless!

Yvette

Depression, The Struggle

As I struggle (emotionally) everyday, I keep hearing those words said to me, a couple of weeks ago.

“I don’t get (it) depression.”

[It was like having my feelings dismissed]

I make myself busy (forcing myself to do something, besides lie in bed and isolate)

I feel better. A few minutes later, I feel sadness.

It reminds me to, take my meds.

I get back to doing.

I feel better. A few minutes later, I feel sadness.

Again, I get back to, doing and thinking.

Thinking about why I’m feeling sensitive, agitated, etc.

Could it be me.

And I (and my therapist) concluded that,

It ain’t me.

So I continue, doing.

I feel better and sad again.

Because I’m reminded of how people with Cancer or Heart disease, provoke sympathy and support.

And depression, provokes what it does (“I don’t get depression”)

Depression has been a life long struggle.

And as I have no control over this, I have learned how to manage it.

[having had suicidal thoughts, all my life]

It’s like being gay (!)

Depression.

Who would, Choose it?

Being Black

or

White.

Life.

Who chose, It?

Yvette

“Depression, I don’t get it”

Just the other day, someone said to me,

“Depression, I don’t get it”

A while back, someone else said,

“I had it” and how great their life was.

As if to say, “Get over it, I did”

I wish it was that simple.

Depression makes me isolate.

But I went out (doing the opposite)

And I get “I don’t get depression”

Lucky you.