Jack of Asses

So, I go back to Church. After not being there, for three weeks.

Debating if I would return.

Yesterday, being my second Sunday back, has me questioning that decision again.

I’m sharing my Newsletter, to those that asked or showed interest.

When Jack of Asses, sits at our table.

Talking pass me, he says (about my Newsletter)

“What she writ’in’ about, gossip?”

I ignored it and continued to talk, as the person read.

Jack of Asses, Repeats what he said.

Angry, I stand up to leave and he says he was kidding and could he read it.

No!

He hadn’t read it (why he wasn’t handed one) and he’s crackin’ jokes!

Had he read it (or my T-shirt) he would have known, I had written about my thirty year sobriety Anniversary. July twenty first.
and it’s also my son’s anniversary.

Third year of marriage.

Or that I will be featuring, our under appreciated heroes, in our Brookeville (Salem Church) Olney area.

Had he read it, he would have known,

I chose my own forum, to express my views, wishes and ambitions.

‘Cause I tried Facebook. Expressing my feelings.

Asking for help.

Your responses were the defining reason, I got off Facebook.

Playing the part of the good Samaritan.

Who serves everyone.

Traveling as far as Puerto Rico to help others.

How wonderful it must feel, to be the recipient of your dedication.

Thank God you don’t get depressed.

That would prevent you from doing your, Good work.

You are truly gifted, that you can do all this, without empathy.

And that you don’t have a father, dying of Cancer, who has dementia and is drinking,

after 40 years of sobriety.

You’ve never mourned.

You weren’t abused and molested before you were five.

You never woke up to a old man (age 12) hovering over you, in his boxers.

You weren’t raped (shortly after) by two men. And given an STD (PTSD. Many triggers)

You were never hungry or homeless.

You never took drugs, drank or needed rehab.

Never been in debt.

You don’t need to borrow, every month, for food and meds.

You don’t have your worth, devalued.

You don’t know how it feels to worry for your Race, being profiled, killed or oppressed.

Feel anxiety/fear, when driving.

Because you’ve been mistaken your whole life, as a man.

Bipolar, paranoia, justified fear?

You’re not bald. losing your hair to Alopecia or inherited.

Like my depression.

How wonderful it must be, to be you. In your skin.

“Bless your heart.”

You Jacks, judges and blues (not Black matters)

I don’t get, Hypocrisy.

Author: My Life with mental illness

I have dealt with depression, most of my life and I've tried different antidepressant. With the right diagnosis and med mix, I have lost 40 pounds. And I am managing, my mental illnesses.

2 thoughts on “Jack of Asses”

  1. Yvette, this is powerful stuff. It’s heartwrenching, (the trials you have faced ALĹ your life), uplifting (you have survived) and encouraging (you contribute selflessly to others and to your community.)
    I’ve read this through twice, and will again. I love you dearly.

    Liked by 1 person

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