Depression, The Struggle

As I struggle (emotionally) everyday, I keep hearing those words said to me, a couple of weeks ago.

“I don’t get (it) depression.”

[It was like having my feelings dismissed]

I make myself busy (forcing myself to do something, besides lie in bed and isolate)

I feel better. A few minutes later, I feel sadness.

It reminds me to, take my meds.

I get back to doing.

I feel better. A few minutes later, I feel sadness.

Again, I get back to, doing and thinking.

Thinking about why I’m feeling sensitive, agitated, etc.

Could it be me.

And I (and my therapist) concluded that,

It ain’t me.

So I continue, doing.

I feel better and sad again.

Because I’m reminded of how people with Cancer or Heart disease, provoke sympathy and support.

And depression, provokes what it does (“I don’t get depression”)

Depression has been a life long struggle.

And as I have no control over this, I have learned how to manage it.

[having had suicidal thoughts, all my life]

It’s like being gay (!)

Depression.

Who would, Choose it?

Being Black

or

White.

Life.

Who chose, It?

Yvette