I feel now, as I felt,
The day it happened.
[As I know, people are affected, by things, circumstance differently). I say, per my experience, discussing prior history, pertaining, sexual abuse, before the pap smear, could have benefited me. By not doing so, I felt all of the emotions, associated with being raped]
Now, like then, I shower
Knowing that no amount of clean,
Will wash away this feeling, of filth,
since I was,