Giving

I’m in the bathroom of my church. I find it difficult, to sit in service, when they talk about, world hunger and show videos, of hunger, in other countries.

I find it difficult, that at this time of year, every year, they put a call out for donations, for that cause.

And I come from a dad, who’s very giving. To the point that, he shorted his self in the process (in all areas you can imagine)

A dad that worked all his life, who hasn’t, taken retirement well.

I think about how much my dad has, given. And lived and sacrificed. 

And how little he has benefited from his labors. 

How he struggles with his memory, health/happiness and finances.

[And how badly my dad, still wants to work]

And how sad it is, that it’s necessary, for my parents, to have to work, if they wanted, to do anything more than, live.

Because all they can afford to do is, pay the mortgage, eat, care for my adult, disabled nephew, the house, that’s in and has always been, in disrepair, housing and feeding, relative (s), adopted, church commitments, abundantly giving, caring for…..

The list goes on. All this, they do, on a

Income, worth far less, than the amount they were getting, when they were both working.

But still they give. How? 

I know. Through him. 

As I said, I’m giving. I got it from my dad.

But I find it real hard to do,

When I can’t give my dad,

What he needs. What he lacks.

I find it difficult to give, when I see the fruits of my parents labor,

Can’t even afford them, a leisurely,

Trip.

It doesn’t seem fair that, those that give so much,
Have to fight, for a lifetime, for what?

Yes, I give.

But, I can only take, so much.

Author: My Life with mental illness

I have dealt with depression, most of my life and I've tried different antidepressant. With the right diagnosis and med mix, I have lost 40 pounds. And I am managing, my mental illnesses.

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